"Pay Attention to ME!": Attention-Seeking Behavior and Theater, Blogging, Life

Is it working?

Despite the partial theater theme in this blog's title, I have yet to talk about that area of my life very much. Part of that is circumstantial, I suppose, I usually write posts in my downtime at work, and my mind is focused on work-related (lawyer-y) issues. The other part is that I haven't really written very much ... yet. In any case, today's post shoots at the heart of local theater's very existence: our need for attention.

I think it is comical, and even a bit scary, how far socialization into polite society requires us to mask our basic desires. Despite mankind's creation of civilization, our biology is still that of an animal. And like other animals, our instincts drive much of our behavior.  We crave food, of course, and (at least in our part of the world) that instinct is easily satisfied, so easily in fact that obesity is an epidemic in America. We crave sex, which, unless you're Wilmer Valderrama (for some damn reason), is a trickier proposition for modern man. But even from the time we are little children, long before the urge to smush our private bits into someone else's presents, we crave attention.

Why do we crave others' attention so viscerally? No doubt it is an evolutionary advantage to be adept at drawing attention to oneself; a child who can demand attention effectively is more apt to have his needs met and survive to maturity. Equally as likely is that attention-seeking behavior is a precursor to sex-seeking behavior. See, e.g., the majestic peacock:

Hey baby.

But whatever the reason, attention is vital to us. Accordingly, lack of attention causes some real, if occasionally "first-world," problems, such as the one addressed by this NY Times article: Study Finds Being Ignored on Facebook May Lower Self-Esteem. And while little kids have cuteness and less socially-imposed restrictions in their battle for attention, we adults are forced to be a little more creative. Because while identifiable attention-seeking behavior is cute in kids ("Aww, someone wants attention!"), to be labeled an "attention-seeker" as an adult is anything but cute ("Diva," "Drama Queen," "Attention Whore," he/she is "fishing for compliments," "vaguebooking").

No, to get attention as an adult, at least in a way that won't inspire contempt, you have to earn it.  So we try: we tell jokes, we write blogs, we create art, we sing, dance, act. And the better we do these things, the stronger the flow of attention they bring. We even work ourselves to death in high-profile careers so that we might inspire feelings of admiration, jealousy ... anything really as long as they are thinking about us.

It's pathetic, really. But it is ultimately always better to embrace reality than to flee from it.  Humans are vulnerable, needy, sometimes pathetic creatures. So let us embrace our pathetic needs and, in keeping with the "pathos" root of the word, empathize with others and their primal needs.  Applaud each other in our miniature daily performances, dole out the sweet attention when deserved, fuck each other (responsibly) -- in short, pay attention!